The Making of a Valentine

SULLY: Adorable photo of me making love to the camera...check!

ANN: So maybe we should add a song? Like Over the Rhine's "I Want You to Be My Love"?

SULLY: Oh, oh!!! Let's do Taylor Swift's "Love Story"!

ANN: What!?!

SULLY: It's Shakespeare!

ANN: It's not Shakespeare. Just because you reference Romeo and Juliet doesn't make it Shakespeare.

SULLY: But it's romantic.

ANN: Seriously. Okay, Romeo and Juliet - teenage infatuation that ends it a double suicide - not romantic! Why? Why is it a staple of ninth grade English classrooms?

SULLY: But it's romantic, and she's a purdie princess.

ANN: Come on, the whole princess, girl-in-distress thing...

SULLY: What's wrong with that?

ANN: It's a horrible, degrading stereotype. And speaking of which, what is with the line, " 'Cause you were Romeo, and I was a scarlet letter / And my daddy said stay away from Juliet"? So not only do we have the princess and the whole father as the guardian of chastity thing but also, IN THE SAME LINE, we have the woman referencing herself as a WHORE!

SULLY: Mom?

ANN: Yeah?

SULLY: Do you ever think you've been in school too long?

ANN: *sigh*

SULLY: Come on, Mom, aren't you the one that's all about the cultural re-appropriation of Shakespeare?

ANN: *longer sigh*

SULLY: Puh-lease? She's pruuuudie!

ANN: Fine, we'll put "Love Story" on the Valentine.

SULLY: YEAH! Mom?

ANN: Yes.

SULLY: Happy Valentine's Day.

ANN: Happy Valentine's Day, Sully.