Ben and I are officially the Grinches of the neighborhood as we have no Christmas decorations up. I've thought about putting up our creche or the advent candles, but I can't even do that. Even now that the mantle is cleared off. Putting up that creche would be so....hard. It is one of my favorite possessions; it has a great story behind it. But what would I do with that Baby Jesus? I could hide behind religion, and say, "Well, we aren't going to put him out until Christmas since it's just Advent. We are resisting the urge to overlook this time of waiting." But then I have Mary, Joseph, Shepherds, Animals, Kings waiting...just waiting...and waiting...for a baby that may or may not ever come. No, I don't want to overlook the waiting, but I really don't need to be reminded that all I seem to be doing these days is waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Don't get me wrong, I am finding solace in the Advent services at church...the people who wait in darkness and all that. But the thing about Advent is that it will end after next week; four weeks of waiting neatly resolved. And I'll still be waiting. The funny is that I don't even know what I'm waiting for -- some sort of indication of what might come next, some promise that I'll find my own neat resolution, hope that the trials of the past sixteen weeks will somehow recede.
And perhaps appropriately, I can't think of a way to end this. So I'll just leaving it here...waiting...
this thankful week
10 months ago
4 comments:
Remember that when we are too sad to pray for ourselves, that others are STILL praying for us! And God has not forgotten you either. As "Foot Prints In The Sand" quote says, "When there are only ONE set of footprints, that is when God carried us. You are being carried now.
Mary raised Jesus knowing that she couldn't keep him... knowing that He would die for all our sins.
Have a quiet Christmas, but know that God is still with you, waiting with you, holding you up, still loving you, wanting to give you and Ben Blessings you can't even imagine. But they will come in His time, not ours.
From One of those people who are praying for you and Ben.
Waiting sucks. Especially when it feels like everyone around you is finding what they seek and telling you all about it--and trying to tell you where you should look.
Do what works for you this Advent and Christmas. There's no rule that says you have to decorate at all.
**Hugs** I love you.
I am going to admit that I have only put up Christmas decorations once and that was when our families were coming out to visit us. I guess I've never been a Christmas person.
I decided the other day that I was more excited to celebrate the New Year. I'm look at the new year as a way to be honest about what happened in the year before both the raw and joyous and to acknowledge what that meant to me. I also look at the new year as the beginning of an unexpected adventure. There are so many possibilities and things that will happen and most of them are not things I can even imagine. I try to put no expectations on the new year that first day and just prepare for the adventure and inevitable battle that will ensue. (Oh I have read too many fantasy novels.)
I suspect once I'm a little more grown up I will only send New Year's cards instead of Christmas cards.
Hugs and prayers to you and Ben...
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