A Letter to my Child on the April 3, 2009 Iowa State Supreme Court Ruling

I've tried several different versions of this entry, but none of them felt right. Then I remembered how I wanted to start documenting some history for my future child(ren), and everything feel into place.

April 19, 2009
North Liberty, Iowa

To my child:

On my last day of high school, three of my high school friends told me they were gay. All within a hour. It wasn't planned. It's just the way it happened. That summer I watched as they grew giddy from the joy of being themselves. It was wonderful. But I also worried. At that time, in our little corner of the world, being homosexual was not always looked on kindly. I worried about the challenges they would face and the love to stood to lose. But this worry made me love them all the more fiercely. Since that summer, we've all gone on to conquer different corners of the world. They and their families have overcome any challenges with grace, and I am so proud of them.

There is still one *little* problem, though - this *tiny* issue of civil rights. I love these people, and I firmly believe that they should have all the same rights I do. I believe that the should have the right to have their partnerships legally recognized. I believe the should be able to inherit from their partners. I believe they and their partners should have the right to make medical choices for each other and be able to sit by each other's bedside. I believe that should have equal rights to any children they should choose to raise together.

So when the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to deny the homosexual couples the right to marry, I was elated. I knew this day would come, but I did not expect it to come so soon and I did not expect it to happen here. I know that this week, on April 24, there will be several beautiful, long overdue ceremonies, and I am so happy. This month both Vermont and New York are introducing their own legislation in favor of gay marriage. There is momentum gathering, a momentum I could have never imagined eleven years ago.

Last night, Ben and I saw Vienna Teng in concert at CSPS. She ended the show with "City Hall," a song she wrote about the allowing of same-sex marriages in San Fransisco in February of 2005. As she played, I thought of my friends, I thought of the teenagers they were and the people they have become. I was happy for them and hopeful for them, and I started to cry. And I was not alone; many men and women in the audience were dabbing at their eyes as well. Towards the end of the song, in a line that foreshadows the fate of same-sex marriage in California, Teng sings, "If you take it away again someday / this beautiful thing won't change." Everyone in the room seemed to have a common understanding of this statement. Yes, I've heard people in a Cedar Rapids restaurant talking about "going out to fight this thing," and they probably will. But I will fight too. I will fight for my friends and for you and for your friends. But for now, I will sing. I will belt out this song and clap when it comes to its final refrain just as we all did last night at CSPS. I will celebrate, and I will believe that love and justice will triumph in the end.

Love,
Mama